(a continuing series of blogs on the nature of abundance.)
So we must experience abundance on the inside before we can manifest abundance on the outside? Great. How do you pull that one off??
This is the gift of imagination. In its simplest form, we reach into the future with our imagination, record the feeling, then bring that feeling into the present and live it. Let's pretend, for example, that I want my relationship with my life partner to be abundant with love and generosity and affection, but in the present it feels stuck and limiting. In the past, I might have responded by working hard to fix each element that feels broken, a strategy that has never really worked, but I keep trying anyway! Alternatively, I can see in my imagination the abundant, healthy relationship I long for - in vivid detail and focused on what I look like, act like, feel like. I ask, "How would it feel if this were my reality?" (Jeez, I think, I'd feel energized and happy and excited to get home.) Again, using my imagination, I bring that feeling into the present, as if to say, "Why wait? Feel it now!"
This simple act (feeling and living the abundance as if it already existed) kicks into gear hundreds of tiny shifts in (my) behavior and communication that impact my relationship in positive ways. I arrive home joyful instead of drained. I approach our conversations with a generosity of spirit that is contagious. My mind sees what delights instead of what irritates. The little things roll off my back as unimportant. And I create safe space where there was once criticism and control. You can guess how another human being might respond to this shift. (Ever notice how generous we feel around generous people? How easy we laugh around people who laugh often? How energetic people energize us? Same thing.)
How have you seen this at work in your life?
One of the great ironies of "abundance" is how frequently we fail to see it right before our eyes. When I left the world of weekly paychecks to create Strengths in Focus, there were times of utter despair, when no money was in sight and the bills were piling up. These were the times when my internal chatter would reach a fever pitch. I was ready to make deals - whatever the Universe wanted in exchange for relief from the my "lack."
When sanity returned, I would take brief little respites from my negative inner chatter to get quiet and ask the Universe for guidance - and a check or two if at all possible, please!). Soon enough, I would again be lost in my work - and the chatter in my head - until the clank of the mailbox would lift me from my chair to see if maybe, just maybe, today the Universe would respond with a big check that would save the day. Instead, I'd find some little (often really little!) part of what I needed to survive that day. I would look at the "insignificant" amount, shake my head at the Universe's cruel sense of humor (never enough), and set it aside so I could get back to work generating "real" money.
Then came the day when I stopped in my tracks and realized what I was doing. "You ungrateful SOB!" I thought. "The Universe is delivering and you can't even say thanks?" (Ah! There's my positive, strengths-focused thinking at work!!) I picked up that check I had just set aside and said aloud, "Thank you." I picked up the second check. "Thank you." The next day I did the same, and the next. Each time, a smile would creep across my face, as if I was privy to a little secret between the Universe and me. I was being taught a lesson I never learned growing up (that little checks add up to bigger numbers). And I was being taught the power of gratitude.
It changed the way I worked, felt and lived the rest of the day. My life was, in fact, abundant. That was the irony. I had to be abundant (in the present) to be abundant.
For that, I am full of gratitude.
I am setting aside my planned reflection on manifesting abundance to share a thought or two on the passing of NBC political analyst and Meet the Press Host, Tim Russert. Tim died unexpectedly Friday of a heart attack. What followed was news coverage that is usually reserved for heads of state. The Today Show dedicated its entire first two hours to it. Tom Brockaw broke into regular programming to report his death, then hosted an hour-long special that night. The outpouring of grief and loss, along with respect and admiration and LOVE for this man was beyond description. He wasn't a past president. He wasn't prince. He wasn't even a world or national leader in the traditional sense. He was something much more important: someone we wanted to be.
It seems to me that Tim Russert "got" this strengths stuff and lived it every day of his life. He saw the simple beauty in his father, who always worked two full-time jobs as a sanitation work. He treated every guest with respect and saw what was right and strong about each, even as he demanded that they be accountable for their actions. And he discovered his own strengths, then focused his energy on growing them to become the best Tim Russert he could be. The result was in indefatigable energy, passion, joy and a zest for life that touched us all. We could see it, feel it, experience it. We wanted to be near it. We wanted whatever they were putting in his drink!
How can we honor this remarkable life? We can do the same. Discover our strengths and live them, so will fill the world with energy, passion, joy and a sense of awe that touches everyone around us. It's contagious. It is how we change the world.
I promised in my last blog entry that I would begin to share my personal journey with you regarding the ideas of manifesting abundance. So here goes. It's hard! (Yea, go ahead; hear me saying that in a whiny, tired voice and you'd be pretty right on.) It is damn hard - at least in the beginning.
Quieting the chatter? It was hard! Knowing what I wanted (you know, so I could be clear and focused in my meditations or "asks" or affirmations)? It was really hard! Knowing what the hell "abundant" means, when I thought I had never experienced it. That was really, really hard!
The only thing I had going for me was persistence and determination; that and these tiny, fleeting little glimpses of what could be. I remember that one of the first places I tried to practice what I preached was with my wife of 20 years. It was at the stage where she was driving me crazy (too messy, not communicative enough, too stubborn, not affectionate enough, to much, too little of so many things). I did two things. First, I asked myself, "If I knew she would never change, what would I do?" The answer? Nothing. There is something very deep that binds us. I am committed to her and very much in love with her, and if none of these attributes that were making me crazy ever changed, I would still want to share my life with her. (So why was I wasting so much energy complaining about it all?) That was the first eye opener.
The second thing I did was write down everything I loved and valued about her and our life together. (Here's an important part: It was real stuff. I didn't pad the list or make stuff up. It was stuff I really valued.) I looked at that list every day or two for a few weeks. That's it. I didn't try to DO anything very differently. I just reviewed the list and when I saw her and talked to her, I know I had that list in my consciousness.
And you know what happened? She started doing a whole bunch of stuff I had been wanting her to do for years. You know what else? She stopped doing a whole bunch of stuff that had been driving me buggy! At least I think she did. (It gets a little hard to tell what is perception and what is "reality.") All I know is that I had stopped focusing on what was wrong, reminded myself of what was right - and pretty soon what I had thought was wrong wasn't wrong any more and there was a lot more of the right. In other words, I experienced the abundance inside, then saw it manifest on the outside. Very cool.
I forget sometimes now and have to do the process over again. But it takes a lot less time between catching myself and making the shift. First it took a few weeks, then days, then hours, then minutes. Now, if I get out of my own way and stop, refocus, come out of the muddle of old hurts and self-talk and refocus on the present moment. Voila. It happens all over again. What I like about it most, being the skeptic that I am, is that it feels so real and authentic. No Pollyanna thinking. Just a solid, authentic shift that doesn't pretend anything. It knows.
Has this happened to you?
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