Listening to an NPR piece called "Student Reflections in Santa Claus Revelations" (from the youth radio project at Curie High School in Chicago), it was so sad to hear kids talk about when they found out Santa wasn't "real. What they had lost wasn't Santa, it was the wonder and magic of believing!
We never did have to deal with this dilemma at our house. In fact, I love the way we did it. When each child got to the age of questioning, we simply asked, "What do you want to believe?" We explained the consequences of saying out loud what others inferred. We asked if it mattered what was "real" as long as the magic was there. Each child considered the options, often for some time, before they came back and said,"I want the magic."
So Santa, along with the spirit of generosity and giving and magic, lives bright and strong in our house. We talk about it with a twinkle in our eyes, as if we share a secret that is ours alone. When our kids' friends asked if they believe, they'd say, "Well, yea. Don't you?" as they flashed that same knowing smile that invited their friends into the magic. We know the "truth" of course, but there's no way anyone here is going to break the spell. Where would we be without this little bit of magic?
Last night, I cried for the half-million kids in foster care (in the US alone) who were once again made invisible. I couldn't imagine being in their shoes.
If you watched the Hallmark special, "Pictures of Hollis Woods," or read the marvelous book of the same name, you know this remarkable story of an abandoned girl who grows up in multiple foster homes and finally discovers the meaning of family. A major character is Josie, the breakthrough single foster mom who begins to forget things due to the onset of Alzheimers and can no longer care for Hollis. As it turns out, Josie's parents died when she was young and she, too, had to find a new family in the form of her now best friend, Beatrice. You can see Hollis connect to her as she realizes that Josie is "part of the family" of this shared experience. The movie brings these themes of loss, resignation, self-preservation, and eventual belonging into exquisite focus - then, in a single (I am sure unitnentional) moment, disregards this experience shared by too many.
The Hallmark special ended with an announcement about the number of folks suffering with Alzheimers and how to get more information. Nothing about kids in foster care. No place to get more information. No acknowledgement that the world is filled with kids like Hollis Woods - and that they were watching. It was an "Ouch" moment.
To all of you… You are not invisible. You have a community of adults who care so deeply about you and a family of kids and adults who share your experience. Like Hollis, you are remarkable. You are amazingly strong. You are resilient. You are loved.
To learn more about this shared experience, download "Too Many Birthdays" from Foster Care Alumni of America. You will be blessed by the stories.
We can be the masters at making things complicated. Sometimes I wonder what young people could accomplish if we didn't make it so complicated to do so. "First, we'll have to get permission from..." "You know, not very many people make it as a..." "What are all the steps that..."
So I always delight in seeing kids who just do it: become successful entrepreneurs, create nonprofits that get better results than the ones we work for, sing, dance… CBS News featured the story of three young kids from Tupelo, Mississippi (ya gotta love it!) who just started playing the blues and are now on the road with their act. The simplicity of their story is told by the 9-year-old Teya.
"I just started to play along and then the first time I played, it was scary," she told CBS News correspondent Susan Spencer. "And then the next gig I was like, 'Okay, this is gonna be easy.' And then the first mistake I make is like, 'Uh-oh, I better pay attention.'"
Read about this delightful family here or see the CBS Sunday Morning feature story by clicking on "family band" under "Sunday Morning Videos."
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