This blog is Chris’ opportunity to share thoughts, observations, ideas, and inspirations as they come, in a more frequent and informal way than the Strengths Ezine.
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"School is stupid and should go die in a hole!" So says my straight-A, self-motivated, avid reader, curious, loves to learn 14-year-old daughter. What is wrong with this picture?
Jen Fox, author of Your Child's Strengths, put her finger right on it in her 12/9/08 blog, Road Block. Jen says, "The new question should be, 'What should children be doing that will both challenge and engage them to serve the ends of their own futures?' –not our idea of what their lives should look like." She's got it right.
While in New York City this week, I was astounded with the change in Times Square. For many years, Times Square was been like a video wonderland, images moving across every building. That had not changed. In fact, they found even more surfaces on which to beam their messages!
What had changed was the clarity of the images. Gone were the pixilated shapes and fuzzy colors. These images were clear and bright and distinct. These images captured my imagination. They made me want to pay attention.
And it made me wonder, is this the way it is with kids? Is this the way it is with our own minds? Do we walk around much of the time with fuzzy images that never capture our imagination enough to be manifested in real life? Are our communications to kids so general that they simply don't pay attention? Is it possible that what we need is high definition thinking?
Yea, it seemed right to me, too.
I hope you will forgive - and enjoy - a blog from December 2007. I thought it was a message worth repeating.
Listening to an NPR piece called "Student Reflections in Santa Claus Revelations" (from the youth radio project at Curie High School in Chicago), it was so sad to hear kids talk about when they found out Santa wasn't "real. What they had lost wasn't Santa, it was the wonder and magic of believing!
We never did have to deal with this dilemma at our house. In fact, I love the way we did it. When each child got to the age of questioning, we simply asked, "What do you want to believe?" We explained the consequences of saying out loud what others inferred. We asked if it mattered what was "real" as long as the magic was there. Each child considered the options, often for some time, before they came back and said, "I want the magic."
So Santa, along with the spirit of generosity and giving and magic, lives bright and strong in our house. We talk about it with a twinkle in our eyes, as if we share a secret that is ours alone. When our kids' friends asked if they believe, they'd say, "Well, yea. Don't you?" as they flashed that same knowing smile that invited their friends into the magic. We know the "truth" of course, but there's no way anyone here is going to break the spell. Where would we be without this little bit of magic?
Warning: This reflection contains the oh-so-politically-incorrect word "dumb." But let's call a spade a spade, huh?
I'm one of those cheapskates who still has an analog TV and no cable service. In preparation for the US shift to digital-only TV signals, there is now a black "converter box" next to the TV.
The problem is, when I use the remote to turn on the TV, I turn on the converter box, too (though it won't turn off the same way). Right now, I don't want the converter box on, so I've either got to get up off my duff and turn the TV on by hand (horrors!) or leave it off. (Oh, don't get all judgmental on me.)
A couple of weeks ago, I discovered that if I bounced the signal off the wall, it turned on only the TV. Great, right? So there I am, pointing the remote at the wall thinking, "This is so dumb, the TVs over there!" Every time, I'm thinking this. Two weeks later, I'm still thinking this… every time. Now how dumb is that?
Are you following this? I discovered what works, I don't have to get up off my duff, and no small animals were harmed in the making of this solution. But I'm still judging it! It's still an irritation! Is this sounding familiar to any of you?
Then it dawned on me that this is exactly what I do in other parts of my life, especially with the people I am closest to. I'll know what works, what makes me (and them) happy, what is healthy and valuable. I can see that it produces better results. Yet that that little voice inside can still be standing there like a spoiled child saying, "I shouldn't have to see it a new way!" And before I know it, I'm back doing what never worked in the first place. To extend the metaphor, I'm back to pointing the remote directly at the TV and grumbling as I get up to turn off the converter box. Amazing.
So the big challenge may not be so much how we see or what we understand, but quieting the old voices inside long enough to allow the rest of our system to catch up. How do you do it?
Yesterday's email had a subject line that read, "Abundance in Tight Times." I felt such elation as I wrote it in the midst of all the economic doom and gloom.
It doesn't take more than a few minutes of listening to the commentary to conclude that this is "what is," reality, the truth of the matter. And every day I hear from another client who's spending has been frozen, whose organization can no longer afford to do more than the basics.
Yet, as I walk through the day, I am awed by the beauty and abundance that surrounds me everywhere I go: people caring for each other, generosity - of spirit and of money, kind gestures, hope…
Could it be that we have begun to learn that events do not determine our feelings, but rather our response to those events? Could it be that more and more people are choosing joy? Could it be that so many people are living with intention that you can actually feel it on the street.
Maybe I'm making it up. Maybe not. But I'm going to keep paying attention to the joy. I think it's better for me… and you… and our kids… and this remarkable world we live in.
To joy.
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